


Losing It All

by boardpresence



Category: Jonnor - Fandom, The Fosters (TV 2013), The Fosters (TV 2013) RPF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-02
Updated: 2015-08-02
Packaged: 2018-04-12 16:10:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4486152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boardpresence/pseuds/boardpresence
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jude makes a decision that Connor comes to regret at the last minute.  </p>
<p>A quick little fic, not really edited.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Losing It All

            “I can’t believe this is happening.” Connor said breathlessly.  He was sitting next to Jude, their chairs side by side, clutching his hand.

            “It’s going to be okay, Connor.  Really.” Jude was doing his best to consol Connor.  They had known this was coming for six months now, but Connor was still struggling with Jude’s decision.

            “It’s not too late, you know.  You can change your mind.  There are other ways to help.” Connor implored.

            Jude gave him a sharp glance, but Connor missed it, slouched as he was in his chair with his head up against the wall, his legs thrust out into the middle of the hallway. “This is the worst.” Connor moaned.

            “God, you’re such a drama queen.” Jude knew he should have been more comforting than that.  Ever since he had been shot, hospitals had made Connor uneasy, but this was a little much.

            “Am not,” Connor huffed, “it’s a lot to give up.”

            Jude could only laugh. “I can live without it.”

            “Ugh!” Connor kicked his feet against the linoleum.  

            Of all the people he knew, Connor threw the most adorable tantrums. Jude looked over to his moms. They were standing down at the other end of the hallway, their backs turned to the boys as to give them a little privacy.  Jude had noted that they kept stealing looks.  He wasn't sure if they could hear him and Connor, but the way they kept covering their mouths suggested that they could.  

            A nurse popped into the hallway and said “We’re almost ready for you.”

“Here. Help me put this on.” Jude stood and slipped his arms into the periwinkle blue hospital gown he was supposed to wear.  He spun around. “Tie it up.”

            Connor ran his hands along Jude’s shoulders and underneath his long hair. He combed his fingers through it several times before moving his hands down Jude’s neck to lace the gown. After tying the last of the knots, Connor massaged Jude’s back a little, kneading the tense muscles with his fingers, all the while slowly moving upwards until he was back up in Jude’s hair.  He tussled it and then wrapped his arms around Jude’s shoulders and squeezed, tucking his head into the nape of Jude’s neck. 

            Connor breathed in and a flood of memories washed over his mind. Four years ago: the camping trip and the furtive kiss; the movies and their lightly curled fingers; the soft grass in the back yard, Jude’s faint smile and soft hands; the feel of Jude’s bedroom floor on his knees, the ache in his kidney overwhelmed by the ache in his heart; the hospital bed and Jude’s war paint; the rocks and the prom, where Jude made his promises.  Three years ago: the afternoons on the couch, limbs entangled and exploring like vines on a trellis; times at school when they ran through the hallways, chasing each other like spies on a mission; the weekend spent camping at the beach. Two years ago: the day Connor got a car and they watched the sun set from the top of the Laguna Mountains; the morning Connor convinced Jude to let his hair grow long; the summer spent apart and the letters they wrote, now kept in a shoebox under his bed. One year ago: the time they marched in San Diego’s Pride Parade and snuck on the float with George Takei; the night when Jude learned his grandmother had breast cancer, and the day six months later when they missed school to go to her funeral; the weekends they spent afterward, volunteering at the hospital.  He exhaled. 

            Jude twisted himself around in Connor’s arms. “It’s for a good cause.”

            “I know.” Connor sighed and put his hands up through Jude’s hair again. He really couldn’t get enough of it.  He leaned in, touching his nose against Jude’s.  They looked into each other’s eyes and were momentarily blinded by a flash of light.

            “Goddammit Taylor!” Jude barked.

            Taylor was standing there, her face shielded by her phone.  There was another flash. “This is so going on tumblr.”

            “Oooh, let me see!” Connor dropped Jude’s locks like a sack of potatoes and skittered over to Taylor, trying to snatch the phone from her hands.

            “Rude!” Taylor yelped, but she let him have it.

            “Angry Jude!” Connor proclaimed, showing the Jude the photo.  It wasn’t terribly flattering.

            Jude shook his head, putting his fingers to his temples.

            Connor flicked to the first photo. “This one is really nice though.” He pushed the phone up to Jude’s face. 

            “Right!? My followers are going to eat this up.” Taylor enthused. She took the phone from Connor and started to walk away.

            “Wait, how many people are going to see that?” Jude said, being a little startled by this information.

            Taylor shrugged. “Oh, like a thousand or so.  You guys are really popular.”

            “Popular?” Jude was a lot of things, and right now one of those things was confused.

            “Um, yeah.” Taylor looked just as confused. “Remember we talked about this? How I was going to help you with fundraising?” Jude’s face was blank, so Taylor continued, “Raising awareness on social media? Does that ring a bell?”

            “Mmmm…” Jude hummed through his pursed lips, his head slightly listing to the side.

            “Well, I figured that I would start a blog on tumblr devoted to you guys and get people interested.”

            Jude’s wheels were still spinning.  Taylor’s tone suggested that he should understand by now, but he couldn’t quite work up traction on the idea. “I don’t follow.”

            Taylor shifted her weight onto one hip. “Cute. Gay. Shit.” She said, counting off on her fingers, “Tumblr is basically powered by cute gay shit.”

            “And rare pepes.” Connor added, and as far are Jude was concerned, not entirely helpfully.

            “And I guess Rihanna gifs.” Taylor added as an afterthought.

            “I thought it was pronounced jif?” Connor said.

            “Heathen!” Taylor swatted him.  She quickly turned back to Jude “The point is that a lot of people have donated through the link I set up on the blog.”

            “Okay…” Jude trailed off, looking down the hallway.  He decided he was better off not knowing.

            “Great! I’m glad you’re on board.” Taylor chirped. And then with unusual rapidity she added “now there’s a few hundred people waiting for video of this, so lets get a move on.”

            Jude was about to question this, but the nurse re-emerged from the doorway and said “You’re up!”

            In a slight daze from the conversation that had just occurred around him, Jude followed the nurse through the door, down another hallway, and into a large amphitheater-like space.  It was a teaching hospital and this room was used for medical students to watch surgery.  Today however, it was hosting the Locks of Love Buzz-Off.

            Jude sat in the surgical chair and peered up at the audience. He was totally shocked by the number of people.  He guessed that maybe there would be a few dozen people to watch people donate their hair to an organization that made wigs for cancer patients, but there looked to be a few hundred.  People filled the bleachers above and the chairs on the floor near the little stage erected for the event.  There was no way it wasn't a fire hazard. 

            The applause was quite loud.  He had never been one for attention, so at this point he was a little overwhelmed.  The emcee was speaking, but all he could focus on were the faces of the people around him.  He scanned the crowd and his face fell on a poster that had popped up and read JUDESHAIRSOCIETY.TUMBLR. Taylor immediately jumped to the top of his list of bodies to bury, but he couldn’t help but feel a little touched that his hair had a fan base.

            The only thing left now was the actual cutting.  He had solicited regular donations, but Connor had convinced him that there should also be an online auction to determine who got the honor of holding the buzzer.  The auction had ended an hour ago, but he had no idea who it was going to be. A second round of applause erupted from the audience as the emcee introduced the winner of the auction.

            “And what’s your name?” The emcee asked.

            Jude felt a strong pair of hands rest on his shoulders.

            A familiar voice boomed from the speakers. “Connor Stevens.”

            Jude jerked his head up and back in surprise.  He saw his boyfriend’s face beaming down.

            “You didn’t think I would let anyone else do this, did you?”

            “Dork.”

            Connor tied his hair up in three separate ponytails.  Jude took a deep breath when he heard the buzz of the clippers.  His inner hair model was screaming, but it eventually accepted its fate as the gentle vibration worked its way across his head.  Connor’s left hand cradled Jude’s neck and jaw as his right guided the clippers in neat rows, chopping off two years of growth. He had lost all sense of time, but it was over before he knew it.  He felt Connor’s hands brushing the top of his head, then sliding down his cheeks, then under his chin, then gently pulling upward.  He faced up and smiled as Connor.

            “This feels nice, too.” Connor said as he began running his hand over the remainder of Jude’s hair.

            Jude thought he could hear Taylor’s voice. “What is she saying?” Jude whispered up at Connor.

            “Do it for the vine.” He whispered back.

            “Do what for the what?”

            “This.” Connor craned his neck, leaned in and kissed Jude.  Like the haircut, Jude had no idea how long it went on, but eventually they were tugged back into reality.  Something about making out…inappropriate…younger audience members…family event.  He didn’t care.

            They left the stage and headed back into the hallway.  Taylor joined them, jumping around. “Oh my god! That was amazing!”

            Jude and Connor were only grinning like idiots.  “How much do you think we raised?” Jude asked after a moment.

            Taylor snapped down to her phone.  Her face went white. “Holy shit, you raised like ten grand!”

            Jude grew a mischievous grin.  He looked at Connor with one eyebrow raised. “How much do you think we could raise if I shaved something else?”


End file.
